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Title:
Back at the station
Author:
David Ingleton
Later that same day, Trevor arrived back at the bus station whistling. No-one mentioned his earlier finale on his East End run, so he got in first.
"Fanks for rescuin mi bus, but to be 'onest you cud ave left mi passengers," then he winked at everyone, and continued.. “Thanking you very much for turning up, all of you, to see my squirm. Really good of you!
One of the weird things I’ve noticed about retirement send-offs, is that you see faces you’ve never seen before. We’re do you work Lad? Accounts? I’m sorry but I thought you’d got to be sixteen before you started work these days. You're how old? Nineteen? Sorry, my mistake, when you’re over sixty anyone between fifteen and twenty looks around ten. You wait until your older, you’ll see; and that’s the thing, you’ll all get older, every smug one of you!
Anyway, before you all start with the eye-watering speeches, I’m going to get in first, and kick-this off, whilst I’m still sober. Don’t worry about health and safety at work Jack, I haven’t been safe driving them buses for years, well 'mi passengers' haven't been safe more like!
Speaking of years, as some of you know, I’ve been here for years, too many years in fact. That’s the thing about years they just come and go, and before you know where you are you’ve got to go too.”
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Title:
"Bugger Off ...
Author:
Geraldine Harper
You boring old fart!" heckling from Carole, from the canteen.
We've had to put up with you for years, she grinned, "so get on with it, and then piss off!"
"Yeah, this isn't Karaoke Night you know!, " Fred, another driver, joined in, "Just because you've got a bit of an audience, no need to make us suffer."
"Come on Trev, give us a song," Pat, ex-conductress (now cleaner), piped up.
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Title:
One-Man Bus
Author:
Bernie Pointer
"Time passes too slowly when things get you down, and too quickly when you're enjoying yourself, " Trevor continued ignoring the interruption. . "Day after day on the bus, doing the same route, same people getting on and off, most of them not even giving you a second glance let alone a smile; cars not letting you pull out, people parking where you're supposed to pull in, bastards using the bus lanes.
It wasn't always like this though. I remember better days, when me and Dorothy went out as a team. No hassle for me, just waiting for Dorothy to ring my bell! Even though I was up-front, we still had a rapport going with everyone. Take when we did the school run; now that was something. Kiddies used to ask their parents to lift them up so they could see the driver. One little girl bought me a bunch of flowers - honestly - she did. It brought tears to my eyes. We just had the two years before every bus on our patch became a 'one-man' jobby. Poor old Dot was devastated and I was the same. Just who's benefited I want to know. It added at least ten minutes on the 65 and twenty on the 130! How much has it saved the buggers I want to know? It's always the same these days. Sod the customer, sod the customer service, sod the employee. It's always the same."
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