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crazy mixed up pantomime
by Maggie Huscroft
Come close dear friends and give me time To introduce my pantomime. Come with me to this magic place That exists in cyber space. A fairy land of thrills and joys, When dames are men and girls are boys. Where Baron Hardup tries hanky panky With the flighty Widow Twanky. Where Cinderella and Puss in Boots And Aladdin are in cahoots. The Demon King has done his worse And everybody speaks in verse. This mixed -up story's just begun So won't you come and join the fun?
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Title:
Enter Buttons
Author:
Maggie Huscroft
Hello cinders," what's up pet?"
"Your tears are making the carpet wet."
"Oh Buttons I'm feeling sad and blue
There so much work I have to do.
I'm tired, and hungry and oh so cold.
The cheese for supper is covered in mould,
It's not enough to feed the mice on.
An now I've gone and broke the Dyson."
"Cheer up Cinders, I've got a broom,
And you can wear this maid's costume"
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Title:
Junk food Panto
Author:
Stuart Johnson
Cinders says " I can't wear that! It's only size 8 and I'm far too fat Too many burgers and too many Cornetto's And it wouldn't go with my high -heeled stillettos Oh look children, now i've upset Buttons, if looks could kill Let's take him down to Burger King for an extra value meal "
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Title:
enter Jack
Author:
Maggie Huscroft
''Coo-ee Darlings! Hello you two!
I've had no supper, can I come too?
Not Burger King! It's Burger Queens!
I've got no cash but I've got some beans''
"Oh jack I've got nothing to wear!"
( wails Cinders, tearing out her hair)
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Title:
A Lad in Name
Author:
Jason Minty
In strolls Alladin carrying in his lamp
Dressed in pink lycra and looking very camp
"Don't worry Darlings" he billed and he cooed
"I'll get my genie to conjure up some food"
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Title:
feast in the kitchen
Author:
Maggie Huscroft
Aladdin give his lamp a rub
And asks the genie for some grub
Then right before their very eyes
The table's loaded with cakes and pies
" You are a wonder" says our Jack
" To russel up this tasty snack"
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Title:
Boris Aladdin-ski
Author:
Stuart Johnson
The genie sniffs " Well it's just a knack, It's only half-hour to Tesco and back " Cinders cries out " All this food, it's utopian! " She starts wolfing it down like a starved Ethiopian Aladdin says " Oh well, I guess I'm off My work is done , I'll leave you both to scoff " But Aladdin ? " asks Jack " Why do you hobble? " " Did I not mention, I'm from Chernobyl "
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Title:
cinders says
Author:
Maggie Huscroft
''Aladdin, that's a terrible joke
I thought you were a pucker bloke''
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Title:
meanwhile....
Author:
Maggie Huscroft
Meanwhile in the Tangly wood
We find little Red Riding Hood
She's talking to Goldie Locks
( Bless her little cotton socks)
The have both been invited
To the Palace Ball. They're so excited.
The ugly sisters are going too.
They have not told " you know who "
But Red and Goldie know better than
Cinder's sisters. They've a cunning plan
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Title:
Beary Good Idea
Author:
Geraldine Harper
Goldie explained that she kept bears
And that when they get up from their chairs
They often go in search of truth
And found the ugly sisters so uncouth
But Cinders they said was very sweet
and would make the ball complete
So along with Mr Wolf
They thought they could set up a spoof.
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Title:
masters of disguise
Author:
Maggie Huscroft
This idea appealed to Red
She laughed out loud and then she said
"Wolfie's master of disguise
Remember granny's "What big eyes…?"
He could impersonate Prince Charming"
Though Goldie thought it might be alarming
She said, '' My three bears could dress up too
Act as his courtiers, in royal blue ''
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Title:
the guest list grows
Author:
Maggie Huscroft
She was sitting there just dribbling
When in walked Cinders ugly siblings
And right behind them, dear old dad
Baron Hardup, " He's not so bad,
He's scrubbed up nice" muttered the Queen
He'll do for me He's not so green!"
Just then the Prince's friend, Dandini
Arrives with Aladdin's Genie
Jack, Aladdin, Buttons too
"The boys are here! The whole damn crew!'
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Title:
Cinders fetch me ....
Author:
Carl Glover
And would you Adam n' Eve it?
They all got in the grove with the 'Cinders fetch me.. ' bit
They had her running for drinks and mopping their brow
Especially her sisters - the wizen old cows.
So followed the theme that pantomine's tell
That everyone picks on the ball's fairest belle.
Until three hairy bouncers arrived on the scene
And all Asbo contenders began acting serene
Cinders smiled as she at last paused to see
One of her sisters sat on Baron Hardup's knee.
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Title:
the fairy godmother is worried
Author:
Maggie Huscroft
Meanwhile back at the Palace
Prince Charming's conferring with little Alice
They making the ballroom a wonderland
With disco lights and a live rock band.
They're just congratulating each other
When in flies Cinder's fairy godmother.
She's getting shaky, she's quite unsteady
For no one seems to be getting ready
''I want Cinders to make splash
And dance with you at tonight's bash,
But first I've got to make a spell
To get her a dress, glass shoes as well!"
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Title:
Wonderland
Author:
Tanya Withers
Alice may be young but you know she's real deep
And she soon susses out that Prince C is a creep
But she's quite taken up with Fairy Godmother Flo
And wonders what gives her her get up and go
If she can use magic to make ballgowns and shoes
Alice thinks she's a winner; unless it's a ruse?
"Flo?" she asks, all sweetness and light.
"How many outfits can you magic each night?"
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Title:
Flo plays Santa
Author:
Maggie Huscroft
So all through the night Alice and Flo
Visit every girl in the Princedom they know
Just like Santa and Rudolf and the other deer,
They leave parcels of goodies and a bottle of beer
Then, comes the dawn, after their hardworking night
And maidens all round wake up with delight.
There are dresses of silk in various hues
Ermine trimmed cloaks and dancing shoes
Necklaces, rings, and buckles of brass
Velvets and satins but no shoes of glass.
So Flo takes a nap ( the night has been tough)
And before the evning she'll do her stuff.
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Title:
Later. back in the kitchen
Author:
Maggie Huscroft
Its late evening now and its all deathly quiet
But at seven –o'- clock there was such a riot
The ugly sisters started to fight
Into their dresses that were a bit tight
( so, too were they, but we won't dwell on that )
They screamed and hollered and kicked the cat
Eventually they went out at eight,
With their dad, and Aladdin and Jack who was late.
Buttons went too, though he usually stayed home
For Flo had made him an outfit from Rome.
He looked so dashing on his way to the Palace
As he tripped along with Wonderful Alice.
She looked lovely and pretty in her Alice-blue gown
And a golden tiara that looked like a crown.
The entire population have gone to the ball
Exept little Cinders, as you may recall.
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Title:
Balled Out
Author:
Kelly Sweet
The ballroom was getting mighty cramped
And armpits, it has to be said, were quite damp
That's the downside of guys and gals in big dresses
Elton John would know this when he last wore his tresses
People were dancing and looking quite dazed
The band were trying to play Purple Haze
The bouncers were really earning their keep
Until one by one all the crowd fell asleep
All , that is, except Little Bo Peep -
well-trained to keep an eye on her sheep
She carried on dancing alone
with a watchful eye on the heir to the throne.
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Title:
he's behind you
Author:
Maggie Huscroft
We know things she doesn't know
It's not the Prince, he left long ago
It's Mr Wolf, and in one leap
He could be devouring Ms. Bo-Peep
So come on kids! Don't sit and pout
To save Bo-Peep, you've got to shout.
HE' S BEHIND YOU
HE' S BEHIND YOU
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Title:
Interval- came the dawn
Author:
Maggie Huscroft
So now we've had a break and an ice cream too.
It's time to see what happening in this pantozoo.
The ball took place ( just as we knew it would)
With Bo Peep, Goldie and Red Riding Hood,
The Ugly Sisters, the Wicked Queen
(with Baron Hard-up ! how obscene! )
Buttons was there, with little Alice,
Jack, Aladdin, and Dandini from the palace,
The Seven Dwarves and Snow White,
Three Bears and Wolf had danced all night.
Next morning just as the dawn broke
As if by magic, they all awoke.
What did they find on the palace stair?
Not one glass shoe, but a pair.
Left there, no doubt, by Cinderella
Who went off with that Charming fella.
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Title:
Peep Toes
Author:
Bernie Pointer
Glass shoes with peep toes are no good for balls
Maybe she didn't wear them at all?
Could she have brought them in a box
And then decided they didn't match her frock?
The bears seemed to recall her shoes were red
Or were they thinking of a red hood instead?
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Title:
A Very Sneaky Move
Author:
Jack Beeton
Did no one notice Dorothy at your Panto Ball? I don’t know why, she was the best of all. She danced so well with her friend of straw (Sorry for the mess on the ballroom floor) Her feet now swollen, off came one shoe, Then quickly slipped off to the nearest loo. Prince Charming returning from his affair Thought, if that shoe was glass he’d have a spare. Barefoot Cinders at this great ball, knew couldn’t stay Then met Dorothy hobbling as she went on her way. (Cinders noticed she’d lost one shoe) “You’ll not get away with that!” she said “The Prince I know can’t stand red.”
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Title:
Prince Gets The Boot
Author:
jack beeton
The Prince walked by and overheard “Go home you two, I’m off to find another bird” Cindy asked, “Now what’s to do?” Without a word; Dorothy took off the other shoe Princie now the worst for wear Failed to see the missile fly through the air The clock the midnight hour had struck (Red shoes, glass or even boots) Tonight the Prince was out of luck
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Title:
the end is in sight (maybe)
Author:
Maggie Huscroft
'' Oh golly gosh !'' prince Charming cried
and swooned ( Dot thought he'd died )
His inert figure just lay there
with bits of shoe stuck in his hair
then the two girls, ( now they're friends )
say, '' this is how the story ends ''
we don't know if we're cold or hot
it' s such a mess, we've lost the plot
if you can sort it out for us,
we promise not to make a fuss''
so all that's needed for our show
is a denouement, how does it go?
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Title:
Just Good Friends
Author:
Jack Beeton
"Oh dear me well I never" When Prince saw the girls standing together No chance with these two he could see So off he went to have some tea "Hopefully"; Cinderella sighed " My coach will be waiting just outside In they got and coyly laughed "Your place or mine?" Dorothy asked
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