I'd imagined that we would take our positions
And play, for say, five minutes each side.
Your seductive warm-up routine had led
To this agile notion of bed, in my (not too) gullible head
Bravado and beers, hugging, and tears.
Spirits lifted, my God, you English are gifted
At setting the scene. You know what I mean.
My heart was pounding, until that resounding
Din.

Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh
Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh
Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh
Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh

I give in.

You became a new man, with the attention span
Of a flea. New blood to suck you see.
Arms folded. Me - scolded - for speaking!
This sacrilegious anthem had you glued to the screen.
I wouldn't have believed it. How very obscene.

Three minutes to off, and I'm off you!
Go play with your man of the match.