Source:
Shortest horrors.
Author:
Jan Miklaszewicz
Title:
The root of all evil.
Professor Richard Dawkins awoke with a party in his head and the Lord God perched at the foot of his bed. NOW DO YOU BELIEVE IN ME? Hang on - let me get my equipment. NO! Oh - okay. The Lord told him that, while he could turn a blind all-seeing-eye to the odd agnostic, he was unable to ignore a Channel Four production. THUS, THOU SHALT GO TO HELL. Me? To hell? YES, THOU. TO HELL. Professor Dawkins became anxious. Mad people always had this effect on his nerves. Will it be purgatory? Like in the Old Testament? NO. IT WILL BE THAT WHICH YOU FEAR MOST. That's a bit post-modern isn't it? I'VE GOT TO MOVE WITH THE TIMES. The Lord was most pleased that he had created irony. There was much rejoicing amongst His seraphs. He explained that most God fearing folk had to slave a lifetime to get to heaven. What's your point, unproven deity? THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE GOING. But I thought I was going to hell. YES CHILD. YOUR HELL. When Professor Dawkins realised that he would spend the afterlife surrounded by believers, he screamed himself out of consciousness.
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