Mrs. Jones went into town

With her youngest daughter, Gail.

There were many bargains to be found

In the after-Xmas sale.

There were shirts put down to just a pound

And socks, three pairs a quid

She had one eye on an eiderdown

For the eldest of her kids.

There were seven children still at home

And a husband on the dole

She could struggle by on love alone

That kindly, gentle soul

But as she crossed the street she tripped on her feet

Fell and banged her head

As a passing bus ran over her

These words she quickly said:

"There's beans for Bobby's supper and the hamster must be fed

Tell gran I won't be in tonight, don't tell her that I'm dead

Tell Jean I've gone to paradise and she doesn't need to cry

But be sure to take the washing in, it must be almost dry."

Mrs. Jones was spitting teeth

And bones poked through her chest.

She wiped the blood with her handkerchief

So it wouldn't get on her dress

Then she dipped a finger in the blood

And changed her shopping list

They wouldn't be needing quite so much

And Mrs. Jones knew this.

The bus driver whose name was Jim

Was moaning about his fate

"You had better go", she said to him,

"Or you will be running late".

Then she turned and told her daughter fair

There's no need to be sad

I've got on fresh clean underwear

Don't forget to tell your dad:

"The insurance books are under the carpet with the keys to the house next door.

There's dirty clothes in the laundry bag, clean socks in the drawer.

I am running out of blood," she said, "I had better say goodbye,

But be sure to take the washing in, it must be almost dry.

Be sure to take the washing in, it must be almost dry."