Mrs. Jones went into town
With her youngest daughter, Gail.
There were many bargains to be found
In the after-Xmas sale.
There were shirts put down to just a pound
And socks, three pairs a quid
She had one eye on an eiderdown
For the eldest of her kids.
There were seven children still at home
And a husband on the dole
She could struggle by on love alone
That kindly, gentle soul
But as she crossed the street she tripped on her feet
Fell and banged her head
As a passing bus ran over her
These words she quickly said:
"There's beans for Bobby's supper and the hamster must be fed
Tell gran I won't be in tonight, don't tell her that I'm dead
Tell Jean I've gone to paradise and she doesn't need to cry
But be sure to take the washing in, it must be almost dry."
Mrs. Jones was spitting teeth
And bones poked through her chest.
She wiped the blood with her handkerchief
So it wouldn't get on her dress
Then she dipped a finger in the blood
And changed her shopping list
They wouldn't be needing quite so much
And Mrs. Jones knew this.
The bus driver whose name was Jim
Was moaning about his fate
"You had better go", she said to him,
"Or you will be running late".
Then she turned and told her daughter fair
There's no need to be sad
I've got on fresh clean underwear
Don't forget to tell your dad:
"The insurance books are under the carpet with the keys to the house next door.
There's dirty clothes in the laundry bag, clean socks in the drawer.
I am running out of blood," she said, "I had better say goodbye,
But be sure to take the washing in, it must be almost dry.
Be sure to take the washing in, it must be almost dry."
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