I awoke from a slumber and spied a young maid

Down by the riverside looking afraid

A finely dressed lady with gold in her hair

Never suspecting that I was there.

But the water was deep, the water was wide

She threw her pretty shoes to the other side

I started to wonder where this story led

When she took off her knickers and put them on her head.

I thought I was sleeping and still in a dream

As she started creeping out into the stream

But the water was deep, the water was wide

And there was a long way to the opposite side.

I heard a faint weeping, her pitiful sighs

As the water came creeping up over her thighs

A cry of frustration escaped from her lips

As she pulled her petticoats up over her hips.

So it's off with my trousers, off with my shoes

A maid was in trouble, there was no time to lose

I waded out to her, approached from behind

And made myself known in a voice soft and kind.

I said, "YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT, ACROSS THIS BROAD STREAM"

She jumped right into the air and let out a scream

And ten seconds later if the truth it be told

She was over on the over side and running down the road.

She didn't stop to thank me or to ask me my name

Rude and ungrateful, had she no sense of shame

And there in the distance that selfish girl fled

With her dress up around her waist and her knickers on her head.