National pride, patriotic elation
Crushed beneath the wheels of a push-chair nation
Gridlocks and tailbacks of mobilised tykes
They need their own lanes like the buses and bikes

A mother at eight, then a gran at sixteen
Still 84 years til she hears from the Queen
A "glamorous granny" still taking exams
Correction...she missed them
Was she failed by the system?
Nahh just couldn't be arsed and instead of revising
She was out window shopping for prams

The "dad" wears his hoodies, they're all baby blue
He walks like the chimps down at Chessington zoo
His mum (28) admits he was always a handful
With a vocab as varied as a stone-age neanderthal

The kids in the buggies, they sit there and grizzle
You'd think they'd be laughing, you'd think they'd be happy
They"re shitting in expensive Burberry nappies
Stolen of course
With an ounce of remorse
Cos mum snatched the wrong one, it was meant to be Airmax

How did this happen? When did it go wrong
No soul on our streets, no grace among the throng
No sense of romance, no sense of adventure
Just a bag of chips infront of Eastenders
No longer a smile or attempt at seduction
Just emotionless hellbent reproduction

National pride?
Patriotic elation?
All I feel is revulsion at this push-chair nation.