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Source: Adults

Author: Stuart Johnson

Title: Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?

Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?
Did you zip up your jeans and something got caught?
Here's the chance of a lump sum, easy money
You may be entitled to 36p
" Oh wow...er yeah, I slipped on a slug "
" Well I swallowed a plug
It was still in the socket
I went up like a rocket "
" That's nothing, I banged my head on a pillow "
" Yeah, I was attacked by next door's armadillo "
Oh how my heart bleeds!
At your mishap-fuelled greed

Have you suffered injury in the last eighty years?
Maybe you cut of your head with some shears
You could be in line for compensation
The chance of a payout is such a temptation
" Hello? Is that claim line?...Yes it's Arnold from Dover
My trousers fell down and I've just fallen over "
" Yes hi, my name's Beryl, I'm in Bramblewood Close
A Ryanair jet has just flown up my nose "
These are just two of the cases we've won
Welcome to the age of " Let's screw everyone! "

Published on writebuzz®: Adults > Poetry

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