Julie Sanders

13 Beach Street

7th January

Dear Jules,

The letter you sent on the 23rd December and the one you sent on the 2nd January both arrived today. In one you writes about Xmas coming and in the other you writes about what it was like. It was really strange to read one after the other and its the first time I ever got two letters in the same day except for my birthday and they wasnt really letters just cards. You sounds like you had a good Xmas and I suppose it was alright here but my mum who almost never ever drinks had a couple glasses of sherry and turned the oven off by mistake. She says she dont know what she was trying to do but she done it anyway and its not like she can blame anyone else because she remembers doing it. The turkey had already been cooking for a couple of hours and you could smell it all over the house so nobody thought to check if the oven was on. Mum first noticed it when she went to put the roast potatoes in but it was too late then. What she did was slice off some of the meat from the breast and boil it up in a curry sauce and she made some chips to go with it. It was really nice but by then none of us was really hungry after all the sweets and chocolates we'd been scoffing while we was waiting for the food. We sat around watching telly for the rest of the day and there was lots of good things on like comedies and variety shows and films. The turkey was ready in the middle of the afternoon but none of us was hungry but in the evening my mum made a great pile of cold turkey sandwiches and they were really good but it didnt feel really like Xmas day because we were eating leftovers already.

On New Years Eve I went to the do at the social club but I didnt feel much like partying. I knows most of them down there and its mostly old people and parents and I finds their talk to be a bit boring sometimes especially on New Years Eve when your supposed to be having a wild time and really enjoying yourself. I didnt even hang around until midnight and went home and watched it on telly by myself. I was happy enough being alone but I couldnt help feeling that life was passing me by and there was another year gone. I looked back over what I done last year and apart from getting you as a penpal I didnt really do a lot. It seemed like a waste of a year really and I had a good cry when I thought about it but then I thought that its a new year and I made a lot of resolutions about what I would do different. That made me feel much better and I ended up feeling really excited about this year.

I was in the bath this morning when Kirsty brought in your letters and I couldnt wait until I was finished to read them so I opened them there and then. It felt a bit wicked to be reading them when I was totally naked.

The first thing I saw was the photo of the Comtesse Jacqueline de Montfort and my heart sank. At first I thought it was a picture of a film star and I wondered why you had sent it but then I read the letter and you told me it was her. How can you say that she is not particularly beautiful. I wouldnt let her hear you say that. You would really make her mad. I showed it to Kirsty and she said it loked like someone famous. My dad said she could be a page three girl.

Kirsty has got a new job by the way. It is serving on a stall in the market selling clothes. Its all new stuff but its rubbish. When you washes it it shrinks to half its size and all the seams comes unstitched. The first day she was there I bought a T-shirt. I didnt need one because I already got lots but I did it to help her out because she works on commission. After wearing it for about half an hour I came out in a big red rash and it was itching like crazy. It was all over my hands and spread up to my face. I thought it was going to go all over my body and I was really worried but the next day it was gone.

Sometimes I feels that I am at a dead end. I was offered the job in the market first and I wish I had taken it but I knew that Kirsty was desperate so I let her have it. I havent had many alterations to do lately but a couple of years ago I used to have twenty or thirty a week but people dont seem to get their clothes altered much any more. I think its because you can buy clothes so cheap and even the stuff that dont shrink and itch.

I draws designs for dresses but I dont even feel like doing that any more. I got lots. Mostly I does wedding dresses and I got some really beautiful ones with lots of silk and lace. I tries to imagine what I would look like in one of them and I sticks a photo of my face on them and it gives me an idea of what I would look like. It would be better if I was wearing a veil in the picture.

Does the Comtesse Jacqueline de Montfort have a boyfriend. I bet she does. If she ever thinks about getting married you could tell her about my dress designs. I would love to go to one of her parties but I bet I would be really out of place. If she's got a boyfriend what does he think about her sleeping over in your bed. Sharon told Keith about it and he made a joke about it and said that if Sharon ever caught him in bed with another woman he would say that it was just because she was sleeping over like a sister. Sharon said she would kill the both of them and then she hit him with a cushion.

He's up in court next week because he fixed some cars wrong. He made it look like they had done less miles than they had done and your not supposed to do that. He says he didnt know but I am not so sure if I believe him. They got him for stealing a car once and he said that he had found it and thought it was abandoned and I believed him until i found out that it was a nearly new car. Thats not the only time he's been in trouble. He got caught one night in a razor blade factory and nearly got put away but he said that he had a drink and drug problem so they let him off with community service. I've told Sharon lots of times that he's no good for her but she says he'll settle down once theyre married. If they gets married is more like it because he never mentions it.

Kirsty told Dave Roberts that she's tired of waiting and he had to choose between her and his wife. He told her that his wife was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and nows not the right time and Kirsty said that his wife had been on the verge of a nervous breakdown for years and Dave said he was afraid she's do something stupid if he said he was leaving her so Kirsty gave him an ultimatum. He didnt like that and said how would she feel if he marked her face so that you could play noughts and crosses on it. He's always saying things like that. I think I told you that he broke her arm once.

I has to use a dictionary to understand some of the words you uses. Your really clever. Even with a dictionary there are some things I dont undersand like existentialist. I know what exist means which is when your alive but I havent the faintest what the rest means. I hope you dont think I am too stupid and not want to go on writing to me but really I'm not thick. Not like Sally Hardcaastle. She's really stupid and I'm not the only one who thinks that. But she got a boyfriend which is more than you can say for me. I dont know whats wrong with me. My lifes going nowhere. I used to think I knew exactly what I wnted out of life but I dont know anymore. Right now I feels like crying.

This is twenty minutes later and I just had a good cry and I feels much better. You have to excuse the spots on the letter but thats my tears. I couldnt help it but everything seemed so hopeless and I suddenly saw myself as an old woman all by myself with varicose veins and no teeth and grey hair. I'm really scared of ending up like that. I know I'm really lucky to have my family and a roof over my head but sometimes it dont seem enough. Maybe I'm greedy and wants more than I deserves.

I'm really sorry to bother you with all my problems and I hope you dont mind. I'm dying to hear from you again.

Yours very affectionately,

Julie