" Don't advertise your phone to thieves! "
I'm wondering what this line achieves
" Keep it hidden, let's keep crime down. "
I thought that was your job I think with a frown
These radio ads have been crawling around in my ear
But then I see the light, and it's all so crystal clear
It's all my fault that they took my wallet
I should've kept a much firmer grip on it
It's all your fault that they stole your car
You should have stood guard with a big metal bar
It's all her fault she was so brutally assaulted
" Stay at home madam, and it could have been thwarted "
" Don't advertise yourself to the mentally distorted "
It's his own damn fault he got a glass in the face
" Don't advertise your mug to the drunken thuggish race "

Yes of course, how stupid we are not to have thought
That the crime figures are up and it's all our fault
Thank God for a government who point it out when necessary
OH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU MR HOME SECRETARY
So here I am Officer, please lock me away
So the thieves and the muggers can be safe for a day
How dare I walk the streets and provide them temptation
Don't you see it's us who are responsible for the state of the nation
So when the anti-social trash and vandalise your town
" Keep yourself hidden, let's keep crime down "