She said she wanted nothing more

Than a fireplace and her own front door

A space that she could really call her own.

She said she didn't long for wealth

Just happiness and a rugged health

And a couple of kids called Jennifer and Joan.

She said she liked to knit and sew,

To sit and watch the flowers grow,

Cook my favourite food and make my bed.

She said she'd honour and obey

But I wasn't born yesterday

I didn't believe a single word she said.

She said she loved to scrub the floors

On her hands and knees and the household chores

Were the very things that made her life worthwhile.

For the open fire, she couldn't wait

To fetch the coal and clean the grate

And she said all this with a Mona Lisa smile.

She was sure to have some time to spare

She'd wash my socks and my underwear

Didn't really care how much they stunk.

She'd spend her life in search of dirt

But when she said she liked to iron shirts

I knew that she was either daft or drunk.

I woke up and the wife was gone

She'd showered and put her make-up on

Her Filo-fax was open in the loo.

It was six fifteen and still quite dark

She came back from jogging in the park

And handed me a list of things to do.

She said she'd be home very late

And really would appreciate it

If the evening meal was served at ten.

She kissed me lightly then she fled

Me, I went right back to bed

To see if I could dream that dream again.

She kissed me lightly, then she fled

Me, I went right back to bed

To see if I could dream that dream again.