cigarette death
yoghurt drink life
buy it buy it
20% of us swear by it

alcohol death
walk to work life
do it do it
extend your life through it

obesity death
dieting life
know it know it
do not blow it

no no no no no
the human race has
lived for long enough
without pro biotic drinks
and don't tell me that suddenly we need them

the rest we know

and if our lives
weren't so fucking mundane
and if fresh fish wasn't so expensive
and if our working hours weren't so regimented we had time to walk
and if david beckham didn't sell coca cola
and steven gerard pringles
and if the big boys weren't so interested in profit
they didn't fill affordable food with salt and hydrogented oils and shit
just to make a buck

can i cook quorn on a bed of spinach and still have time to shrug off my shit day
and hope my wife will fuck me cos she had to struggle with some wanker headmaster
who disapproves of the quality of my son's behaviour?
because the poor boy's bored shitless cos he can read
and do maths and peers out of the window fed up

and my daughter shunning food
cos she's grown up in a tv world rife with augmentation
and the boys her age think that a woman's body really looks like THAT
and we waste pages of the paper debating whether goody is a racist when
germaine jackson calls her and her friends white trash
and we all hate america

which only goes to show we are all wankers
cos if we didn't rely on them so heavily in the first place
too fucking tight fisted to spend on defence
we wouldn't be shitting ourselves coercing the only country able to defend itself not to do so
in the name of multi-lateralism

and god are we stupid
there are agencies set up which
by the use of depth-probing psychological surveys
sell us stuff we don't even want
because let's face it
we don't even know ourselves what it is we really want

so we sit in our pit-like sofas
while that bloke with the big voice shouts at us about
chantelle whatever and makes us believe that the channel he's being paid to represent
is anything more than a genre-expoliting shadow of what we
in our unrequited and stifled capability
could achieve

the only recourse is resistance
turn it off
it keeps us stupid