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  You are @ HomeAdults A day in my life

A day in my life

Source: Adults

Author: carin garland

Title: sometimes...

sometimes there is so much noise in my head it makes me sick. it is a kitchen soup brain where everything is boiling. ideas of trees, hurt, anger mixed with words that somehow compose themselves perfectly amongst the watered down motivation and direction.

when your head fills up and is about to pop do you swing your leg over your beastly bike and set off like a man on a mission? i just took a walk. romeo and i walked the pixie trail. it isn't one where you might run into fairies. no. not at all. however, you may encounter a well known poet with long flowing black hair, riding boots stamped with mud and a peaceful face. or you might pass a celebrity from the television, movies and stage. maybe just a couple of boys cutting class and smoking pot on the bench that overlooks the hill that sweeps down to the sheep who live with the man who likes to live naked. you just never know. tonight all we saw was a couple, towels shaping their shoulders, walking and talking quickly by with just a glance of a smile towards us. we did find a bald tennis ball with just enough fuzz here and there to pick up dog spit and dirt from the trail. it eventually rolled down the hill towards the sheep so we left it alone, waiting for someone new to come by and play.

we come back home and romeo is happy to find a bowl of cold clean water to drink and my head is more calm. but i don't know how long it will last. no holes in my shoes but one in my soul. looking, thinking of how to fill the damn thing. i have turned many corners, tried new avenues but the searching still comes up with nothing. and i wonder how long will it be, will it ever happen, it has been so long already. if the ocean's loud blue frothy waves can't do it, if the green sleeping lady on the mountain outside my window can't fill it, if the love from the "ones" around me can't mend it, then what?

this is not about my despair or loneliness. this is not about lost friends or love. this is a practical exercise of my life that i do everyday trying to get back into shape, into one piece.




Published on writebuzz®: Adults > A day in my life
 

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