Good afternoon officer
I've got something to say,
It's been on my conscience
And won't go away.

I was a witness to murder
About a year ago,
The lady that was beheaded
Yes, I thought you would know.

Her body in the lounge
And her head upon a plate,
Not everyones idea of fun
But I thought it was great.

More blood than I'd seen
In a pool on the floor,
I tipped up the body
And out came some more.

Here is the knife
That was used oh-so-well,
I'd have put it on E-bay
I'm sure it would sell.

How do I know
All the facts well and true?
You see I'm the killer
I'll take a cell with a view.

You ask why I did it
Such a vile attack,
After 50 years of nagging
I got my own back.