My last visit to the dentist
showed a filling and extraction,
I asked him " Will it hurt at all?"
he said " Maybe a fraction".

As he approached me with a needle
to soothe the inflamed gum,
For the first time in twenty years
I called out for my mum.

He came at me with pliers
but my mouth still had some feeling,
I let him know in no mean terms
As I screamed and hit the ceiling.

He pulled and pulled and said to me
" Don,t worry, I will win",
I was on the verge of pasing out
With his knees upon my chin.

Finally he pulled the tooth
" You can keep it if you like"
To him I answered " No thank you sir"
But inside ON YOUR BIKE!

It's not just all the work that caused
the fear and suffering and pain,
I've just taken a butchers at the bill
Is he totally insane?

My last visit to the dentist
left me shocked and with a stammer,
That's why I do my own teeth now
With a chisel and a hammer.