I phoned for an appointment
to see my local doc,
But got stuck on the phone
with a dragon in a frock.

She said " Mr George how's
next Monday at ten?".
I said "That will be great
If I'm not dead by then."

She said " Talk to me
I'm sure I'll sort you out.
I know about colds and I've
seen a case of gout."

I said "Please go on
are you medically trained?
'Cause my willy is hurting
and my knackers feel strained."

She said "Don't be rude."
I said "I'm really sick.
You won't believe the colour
of my old thin and thick."

I think I'll pay private when I'm
prosperous and wealthy,
No point seeing a doctor when I'm
feeling bloody healthy.

This has all hit me hard
I'm a shaker and mover,
But that's the bad side of
getting stuck up the hoover.