Good morning !

Good morning to you , please take a seat , how can I help you ?

Well...I'm looking for a job , I need to start working you see .

Right...right...well you've come to the right place , this is the job centre .

Yes...quite ! ...but...

Are you unemployed at the moment then ?

Yes...in fact I have never worked in my life , but times are changing and...

Sorry ! ... you've never worked ? ... never ? ... not at all ?

That's correct ... I've never felt the need ... nor been inclined ...

Hmmm...? ... what about qualifications or experience ?

No ... 'fraid not ... no qualifications or anything like that .

Ok ... ok...that sort of narrows your options down a bit...

Oh really ? is that good ?

On the contrary ! Let's see ... University ?

No.

What about college ?

No .

Higher education of any sort ... anything at all ?

No , nothing ...ummm...my mother said to tell you that she...

Look... you're a middle aged man for goodness sake ...

Slightly more than middle aged , actually ...

Yes ...well , you must have done something with your life , surely ?

Not at all , everything has always been done for me .

And now you've just had a sudden urge to get a job ...?

That's more or less it ...yes ... my mother is...

Right ... well ... it's never too late , I suppose .

You sound just like my mother ...

Ok ... have you had a look on the job boards ?

Yes , yes I have ... but none of it appeals to me ...

None of it ! ... what about traffic warden ?

No ... I would find that somewhat soul destroying , frankly ...

Well what about site labourer then ?

No ... far too physically demanding for me ...

Factory worker ?

Not at all ...

Supermarket operative ?

Absolutely not ...

Oh , just a minute ...here's something that just came in ...

Humour me ... please !

Well... I don't know if this will be suitable for you but ...

What is it ?

Ummm ...it's a new vacancy ...King of England in fact .

Oh ! ... King ? ... Hmmm ... what does it involve exactly ?

The job description doesn't say much to be honest ...

Read it out to me ... I'm interested ...

Well , it basically says that everything is done for you , by others ...

Whats the pay like ?

Doesn't say , just a set wage , not commission based ...

And what are the hours like ?

It just says hours to suit , as and when required ...

Company car or anything ?

Yes , choice of car ... fully expensed ...

Hmmm ... anything else ?

Yes , involves foriegn travel on a regular basis ...

Any probationary period at all ?

No...no...immediate start for right candidate ...

That sounds pretty good actually ..

It does doesn't it ... are you interested ?

Definitely ...I have waited all my life for something like that ...

I can arrange an interview for you if you want ?

Yes , that would be marvellous ... please ...

Ok then ...just take a few details from you first ...

Right ... fire away ...

Ok , if I could just have your name ...

Of course . It's Charles ... Charles Windsor.......................