I work for a firm in our great big city
and go away on many business trips
But when the work is done and dusted for the day
it's with the locals that I like to get to grips.

On one trip to a far flung land
starts this story that I simply can't dispute.
A local lad took me to see the tourist sites
ending up in a house of dis-repute.

We took our pick and I grabbed a right corker
and admit that I started to strut.
'cause back at home down the local pub
girls like her are put off by my fat gut.

We got down to business really quick, I was a stud
which is a surprise as I'm normally quite shy.
My lovely companion was having a brilliant time
shouting out " Nakker Hi, Nakker Hi."

I lasted well past my normal four minutes
I was great I just can't deny.
My fat arse was bobbing at a speed up and down
and my girl continued shouting " Nakker Hi."

Next day at work I tried out these two new words
when I could I said to all " Nakker Hi."
It didn't register at the time but now it certainly does
that when I did, no-one looked me in the eye.

Well I was back about a week and on the golf course
with my mate, our local vicar, called Stew.
I was waiting for my chance to impress this man of God
with the only foreign phrase that I knew.

Well, Stew was near the pin and he sank a lovely putt
all soft hands as he's a really gentle soul.
I applauded and then said " Nakker Hi, Nakker Hi."
He said " Whatever do you mean wrong hole?"