If it's unlucky to walk across a grave
as you're treading on the dead.
Why have I never heard from down below
" Get off my bloody head".

I've walked under many a ladder
and I've not been struck down dead.
Nothing has fell down from the skies
and bopped me on the head.

I play April fools past 12 o'clock
there's no bad luck in that.
The world won't fall around my ears
and I'll still look a prat.

I've never saluted magpies
'cause it's just a step too far.
It's not down to luck one took a crap
on the bonnet of my car.

I broke a mirror, seven years bad luck
now please take note of this.
I've done 25 years as a married man
so seven's a piece of piss.

My friend keeps a lucky bunnies foot
and rubs it out of habit.
His luck hasn't changed but spare a thought
for the messed up little rabbit.

I'll admit that I have had bad luck
when I dared back chat my mother.
As I cleverly blocked a slap from one hand
she decked me with the other.

But was it bad luck when the condom split
it was old and I was short of cash.
Is it bad luck I've now got this constant itch
and a very sore looking rash?

Friday the thirteenth is just a day
the same as any other.
That's if you discount that small mishap
with the fence hole and my brother.