We had a mouse about our house
that roamed around at night.
I'd seen him many times before
but he always gave a fright.

He has a black body, tail to match
little feet a girly pink.
He left prints on plates and cups
as he ran round my kitchen sink.

I'd hear him scratching under foor
as he chewed my electric cable.
I've seen him run up chair legs and
across my dining table.

And so I snapped, enoughs enough
I went on a rodent hunt.
I'd stay alert ,keep on my toes
he was a devious little...rascal.

I set traps around my home
and baited them all with cheese.
I'm sure he took it all and came back
to ask for seconds please.

Finally I caught the sod
if he could talk I knew he'd stammer.
All my frustrations should have come to an end
when I spanked him with my hammer.

But my kids stopped me doing the deed
and the mouse showed some relief.
He knew I wanted to cause him pain
and smash those mousey teeth.

So things turned out really bad
my moods now a simmering rage.
My kids now keep the git as a pet
and even made me buy the cage.

But I will get my own back soon
and not tell my son or daughter.
That I plan on filling the bath right up
and drowning mousey in the water.