Cold Winter’s Dawn

(as featured on my website www.youtube.com/user/johndoylepoems)

It was on a cold winter’s dawn

That I awoke to the quiet sounds of snow falling to the ground

Placing my gown, and tie-ing it to my middle

I climbed down the wooden beamed stairs

That creaked every footstep in synchronicity with my weak bones

Until my shoeless feet found themselves

Upon the wooden panel floor of the room

That preceded my destination the kitchen garden

Once the door was unlocked with a clink

I looked upon this beautiful sight

Of the snow covered landscape that once had been the dreary world the morning before

And now it was as beautiful as any dream a man could have

There was a white glow about even the most dirties piece of metal

Like the lamps, the corrugated iron and steel buildings to the distances

Were steam streamed to the sky

As mans hard sweat was boiled

In the drudgery of this modern day cycle of life

Where man had to work in order to be allowed to dream

A slave to his own designs

A lack of vision on his part

Fixing himself with his own chain about his neck

For free was what man , all men, should be.

I looked at the large grass covered lawn, sprinkled like a cake

With white patterns of snow,

All clear and smooth like the statue of porcelain

And I placed my cold feet upon its beauty

And another and another

Until left behind me a trail

I did wonder whether my ugly feet were akin

To that which man has reeked upon the world

Since its awaken

Whether my destroying of this natural beauty

Was like that of man with his machinery

Digging into mother natures core

Polluting the skies with his poison

Chaining men to nightmares rather than dreams

Allowing him only a piece of freedom at night

But not during the day

That was given to work and striving

For a dream he had no care of

Just so that we might be as we had always been.

But the feeling as the cold snow melted between my toes

Was simply divine,

I felt the need to lie upon his bed of snow

And feel against my cheeks

The simplest of touches

Like that of a lover who strokes the bedridden lovers face in the morning.

Even my ugly wooden shed in the corner was made beautiful

By the droplets of golden snow

Which I brushed off the roof with my hands

Feeling the rough palm against the smooth snow

On the roof shaven wood left out in the cold.

Oh! Beautiful world that I perceive now

Do you hide within you the secrets of

Mans true success

Would you shower us a sign

Of how it all could be,

Do I only perceive this beauty

Am I the only eyes untainted by its abuse

To set upon it,

Am I alone in this feeling

Do others around this great land

Stand out in the snow

With cold feet

Starring in wonder and amazement at the simplest sight

Or do they look upon it with dismay

Thinking of their journey to work

So entrenched in the war of machinery

And making things we all don’t need

That this natural beauty is beyond them

And a hindrance and not a joy

As it brings joy to the simple mans heart.

I breathe in and out

The cold air inside my lungs

And I feel my chest expand

As did my heart and soul

At the view on the cold winters dawn.

Is there not in this snow, that I hold upon my hands

Such a secret if only man could understand

Of how life simple should be

For just the cloud does what it does

And the snow as it does

The easiest of things bringing the maximum joy

Is there not in this world ways that men could live

One on one, as brothers

Not fighting over the lands we’ve been given to care of,

Could we not shed the lights of this love

Upon all nations and peoples

So that all can live to feel this slender

Of a snow fall at dawn

Rather than feel the pains of their stomach empty once again

To see their loved ones die, medicine cabinet empty

The husband and wife parted so that he can earn his daily bread

The child lonely by his parents constant feuds of moneys lent,

Could not we , this very day,

Rip it all up

Tear into shreds the way we all live

Like I do now, take this money I have left in my pocket

And tear it to a million shreds and throw it up to the air

Even that sight brings more beauty

Then passing it from one tired mans hand to another

Why we place our life upon paper and gold

When we can live upon mans hearts, minds and souls,

Yet too, earth, I fall hard on my face

For this is but a dream of a dreamer such as I

To far and few between

Who have nothing and wish for all to have everything

But those who have all and everything

Wish for those who don’t to stay as they are

And be happy with their tiny stomachs

And their dying relatives

And feuding parents working for them all Gods hours

And be damned, all the childrens weaps and cries

At night.

The kettle left to brew boils

And whilst I make,

The water, the tea, the sugar, carnation milk for sweet taste,

The world outside me changes

And so too my mood,

As I take the view again,

Its changed,

All the snow has gone,

And I’m left with the normal dull view

Where sometimes it brings to me such joy

Now the bitter taste I’m left with of reality

Has brought me to see this view

As like any other man must see it

Just a view, with no colour, as if all in grey,

The flowers just flowers, the grass just grass,

The statesmanlike trees just trees,

The clouds flying through air just clouds on a pointless journey

Over and over again,

As if the view is now some flat poor mans painting upon a canvas

That no longer conveys the beauty; colourless.

And so to bed I retreat

Fuelled by my need to close my eyes upon this cold world

I have once again opened for my heart to see

And its tears I can take no longer

For rest gentle heart in the sack of your comfort

For soon, one day, shall men understand

And shall hearts of this world not suffer

Such uncomfortable thoughts

Of greedy men and women who populate

The vast majority of this world

For their own gain

Tilling and cultivate for their own enjoyment and means.

I take the journey back to my bed,

Under the blankets I leap

As if I was to be joined by lovers delight

But beside me is just an empty space

Resembling that within my heart,

The cold cold dawn chills me still

As I place my head under the blankets

and fall into a slumber which I wish could be life

I see my cottage covered in the snow

The cold frost lines the walls and staircase and window panes

Etched the flowers of natures icicles

The house has no gas, no electricity,

There is no feed for us to eat, our stomach empty

And unfulfilled , paining

Yet under the blankets we unite

And love is our food and water, gas and electricity

All night the passions bloom

And hot the room makes the frost and icicles melt

Until like a fireplace alit

The house beams a golden glow of warmth

By the love that only lovers can create

And to your eyes I turn

And I stay transfixed as I wonder of your dreams

I speak ‘tell me of your dreams, my darling

So that I might know the secret place in which

Only you can dwell’

And you cast a smile that like a spell

Sends me into ecstasy

And I hold you close and place a kiss upon

My lovers lips so that the sweetness may transcend

Our time together.

Then I awoken to the cold winter’s dawn

And days and months in dreamlands passed

Turning to mere minutes in this world

Of which I meant to escape

And I turn to my lover

But she no longer lies by my side

Fool, she was part of the dreamers dream

That can never be realised in mans life

She never existed, only in my heart, mind and soul

In life she is like the fabric of the universe

Of the words of a poets pen

Imaginary, illusions

Unreachable,

And I star hopefully in the space

Where you might be

And try to wish you into existence

And frustrated I fell back to sleep; alone

On this Cold Winter’s Dawn.

Written: 5th November 2007