The Road (as featured on www.youtube.com/user/johndoylepoems)

ps, pls excuse typos etc/... unchecked....

You and I may walk the same, even appear the same

But we are not,

For the road, the path, I have undertaken,

Chosen or found myself upon

Is something that sets me apart from the rest

But not in any great or grandeur way, quite the opposite

Whilst you can walk in a many crowded path

With happiness and a little sorrow

I find myself lonely and with a deeper sorrow then I’ve ever known

Growing each time

I meet a pitfall in the middle of the road

And each time I think the road can extend no longer

But I keep on walking it,

Picking myself up

And each time I lose a part of me

Yet I become stronger

When a day shall come when I shall be so strong

But there will be nothing left inside me to do anything with this strength

I shall be a cold and unfeeling man as so many have become

Or were born,

Yet in my infancy, my youthful days

I was a happier soul, whose laughter rung the very tops of the ceilings

And whose wit and sense of humour knew no bounds

Whose clever tongue and kind heart

Was admired by silent hearts.

I find myself once again upon this dark dawn rising road

With a picture of someone I knew in my hand

Closely held by my heart

As if I might infuse something from it

Into that vessel

That beats so hard in my chest

Yet a look upon this photo brings me great dismay

For she appeared such an angel

Her features so fine,

Her contours, her smile so wide and beaming

Her beautiful bright black orbed eyes

Like jewels, a gemstone picked from the abundant earth

Yet how deceptive was the outside to what lay within

For she spoke such sweet words

That inclined my heart towards her in such an excellent way

I was forced like a comet towards the sun by her magnetism

Yet ultimately the end the same,

For the comet and I both were caught in her flames

And whilst the comet is with its mistresses

I am left to slowly out-burn the rest of my journey,

For I am tinged, burnt on the inside

With the sorrowful memory

Of a woman who made me believe she loved me as I loved her

And yet she was never even in the same planetary position as me,

She spoke the words my heart oft wanted to hear

And in such a guile that I was completely believing

And for months it continued

Until she came to tell me, it was over

For what she wanted out of me had been taken

And whilst that which she took could easily be replaced

The heart she left behind was tattered and torn

And may never be healed.

So her picture, I oft look upon

What I wish to remind myself I am not sure

For it only brings me such pain

To remember a love I so thought was to be mine

A future I planned, hoping she would hold me close

And whisper those words, ‘I love you’ into my ear

For my bread and water was the love,

And in my pursuit for love

All I have done is created more pain for my heart

To the extent whether I wonder whether

Love would ever had suited my heart

Whether I poisoned it with my boyish illusions

Of a lover so beautiful

That even time and space would mean nothing

Whether I like the great poets of the past

Held up high into the fiery sky the very nature of love

And it shone so brightly above all

As if it could illuminate as all

And set us free from all earthly problems

Yet what did I do, but fool maybe myself

Or maybe I have yet come across the greatest thing

My mind, heart and soul could ever have imagined

Maybe I shall walk this road and never come across it

Whilst some man unworthy of such a gift shall easily accept and refuse it

Take it lightly

So then what of this gift , he shall say

It is but nothing, and nothing worth for me to cry over,

Yet he has no value of its greatness

And he will set alight the heart that carried it to him

And shall in time, these men

End such dreams for the likes of I and those that see as I do.

Upon the road,

I see many shapes and shadows

Of women that shall cross my path

But will any of them be the one

Who shall bring this love to me

Or shall they just as those before on the path

Scrape with their sharp hearts my heart away

Until I have no capacity to even feel sorrowful

For my looses.

And when this new love comes into my life

Shall she keep me warm with her inclinations

Will I be able to trust her to look after me

To care for this wounded soul

Like a bird with a broken wing

Set apart from the flock that flies off

Leaving its imperfections behind

Who will care for the disabled souls

That linger lonely upon this dark soil.

I see another sun arise upon my road

The birds in the sky I watch gracefully slide

Free of such sorrows

Free from the burdens and strains not of life but

The pursuit of love

Of a love like no others

That could bring a thousand nights into one

That would explode even the loneliest of hearts

That would like my estimations of love

Sore high in the sky

And like a rainbow in dawn

Bring a relief every day to all the problems ahead,

Bring company and spirit

A strength that only two have over one.

A new dawn, a new day

Ahead could be the future ive dreamed of

Or the nightmare ive been warned of

Which I cannot tell until I continue my steps towards it

My broken heart with me

Ready for what outcomes it.

Written: 21st March 2008

(idea conceived dawn the morning before whilst waiting for bus to work at Greenford)