JOHN Viss wun’s wunner my fave ritz, stop ear a minute, vair ziss game I play every time I cross wunnaveeze bab-boyz. You gotta look down at the oncomin’ traffic un wait till the coast is pretty clear, and then walk across at normal pace, like casual, evryday walkin’ speed. Y’know? No stoppin’ or slowin’ down or any fin.

LEE All right ven. Vair ammerin’ it though, probly get killed before I getter crosser firse free lanes. We allowed to stop onner grass bit inner middw?

JOHN Nah, juss gotta keep goin’ and ‘ope for the best. Lot of it’s inner plannin’ really. I do get killed quiter bit, but uvver times you cun get allver way across wivvout bein’ 'it. Snot too bad down air atver moment, after five’s much worse, all the folks goin’ backter Saltash annat.

LEE Right, I’m goin’ after viss transit.

JOHN I’m goin’ wiv you mate, looks pretty clear.

LEE Ope, Beamer comin’ up on e outside.

JOHN Yore speedin’ up.

LEE I‘m too youngter die, John. I never got to see Vegas.

JOHN Yeah, or get laid. I reckon ‘is wing mirror cliptcher mate.

LEE Flesh wound, I’m lookin’ good ear.

JOHN Yeah, but no stoppin’ inner middle, remember. That wipe Mondeo’s got chore name written all over ip, mate.

LEE Aaghh! I wanna run!

JOHN Don’t, itser gaintser rules.

LEE Well, vat’s me fukt. He din’t even triter slow down. I ope when ‘e goes ‘ome he feels very proud of ‘imself.

JOHN I fink it wuzzer bird. If you an’t’ve started walkin’ quicka, yoob be back ear apace. See, I reckon I might make it if vat flapbed dun’t come off for the exit.

LEE 'E’s indicatin’, you’ve addit John.

JOHN Fuck it, 'it buyer flapbed truck.

LEE Bab wun geeza.

JOHN I’ve add worse. The uvver day I got ‘it by a bloke onna ‘Onda Fireblade. As if vat wunt bad enuff, a fuckin’ ambalance come and ploughed interver pairer vuss. Must’ve bin doin’ at least eighty, dint even ‘ave ‘is sire anon.

LEE Bass tud. Bit ironic really, getting’ run over buyer nambalance.

JOHN I spose so. I’d’ve probly’ve survivor bike crash. It was only my legs anna broken pelvis.

LEE Whatta boutver biker?

JOHN ‘Ard to say. ‘E must’ve bin a good ten meters down the road from me by ven. Skidded on ‘is ass anver cider viz leg, like. All levvered up mind, probly hadda bap plate too. I reckon he was probly doin’ okay. Till the ambalance come along, anyway.

LEE So it ‘it you first?

JOHN Yeah, rolled right over my chest an at. I dint see what ‘appened after vat. Bein’ dead, and all.

LEE Bab wun. I ‘ope 'e survived.

JOHN Yeah, me too. I know ‘e run me over an at, but I’m mot bitter or any fin. E might’ve binner really nice bloke.

LEE Mose bikers are.

JOHN Yeah, writer nuff. I feel kinder bad about it.

LEE Don’t worry mate. Veez fings ‘appen.