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  You are @ HomeAdults Stories & Scripts

Stories & Scripts

Source: Adults

Author: Eve Becker

Title: Afternoon Ramble.

Half way up the mountain the two women stopped and took a drink of water.

‘Not bad,’ Mette said looking out towards the fjord. The city was down there below them. ‘Better than London, eh?’

Kari-Anne stood still and took in the view. ‘Yeah, I’ve missed this,’ she said quietly.

Mette leaned over and squeezed her friend’s arm. ‘I’ve missed you, you know.’


It was nearly three months since they had climbed a mountain together. Kari-Anne had been working in Britain all summer. Mette had been at home as usual, holding the fort. Her husband, Tim, worked in the oil industry. This meant he was away from home for a month at the time. Mette wasn’t very good at being on her own. She was chuffed to have Kari-Anne back where she belonged.

‘Hey,’Kari-Anne said. ‘Last time I was up here, was the day of the Bruce Springsteen concert, remember?’
‘Ah yeah, bloody brilliant night that was,’ Mette said. She hesitated before adding, ‘until old golden- cock turned up, that is.’

They both laughed. It’s fair to say that Mette didn’t just rely on her friends to keep her company when Tim was away. Consequently she sometimes found herself in sticky situations. Bergen was by no means a big city.

‘Took a lot of effort to smooth that one over,’ Mette said looking sideways at her friend. ‘If you know what I mean.’
‘I know what you mean, you tart.’ Kari-Anne said smiling. ‘Don’t know how you get away with it.’

Kari-Anne put the water bottles back in the rucksack. ‘Right then, lazy ass, let’s burn some calories.’ They picked up the pace and reached the top half an hour later.

‘Did I tell you,’ Mette said catching her breath, ‘Linn was flashed the other morning.’
‘What d’you mean, flashed? Kari-Anne asked. ‘As in proper flasher- flashing?’
‘Yup - grey coat - willy hanging out - the works.’ Mette replied grinning.
‘You’re joking,’ Kari-Anne was highly amused.
‘No joke. In town, on her way to work, Tuesday morning.’
‘Oh my God, what did she do?’
‘You know what she’s like,’ Mette said pulling a face. ‘Screamed all the way to the police station.’
‘She reported it?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Go on, what happened?’
‘Well, they showed her a load of mug shots...’
‘What - no willy pictures?’ Kari-Anne interrupted.
‘No, no willies.’
‘Shame.’
‘Indeed - so anyways, they all looked the same, and then suddenly she recognised him. And the police knew him well.’
‘Of course they did, can’t be that many flashers in Bergen.’
‘Good point,’ Mette agreed.

They started the descent just as the heavens opened up above them. They had to stop to sort themselves out. With jackets zipped up and waterproofed caps in place they carried on down the mountain.

‘What would you do?’ Mette asked. ‘ Or say, if it happened to you?’
‘Hm -It’s not my birthday is it – or...‘ Kari-Anne thought for a second. ‘Is that it - if that’s all you’ve got, I wouldn’t bother.’
‘You should see mine,’ Mette suggested.’ Much bigger than yours.’
‘Ha-ha, like it. Excuse me, d’you know you forgot your zip this morning –your knob’s hanging out.’
‘Come on, it’s not that cold,’ Mette was on a roll.’ Nice coat, shame about the tiny cock.’
‘Oh dear me....’ Kari-Anne was laughing hard.

Suddenly Mette lost her footing and fell flat on her back.

‘Shit,’ she said loudly.
‘You okay?’ Kari-Anne said reaching out to help her up.
‘Look at the state of me. I’ve gotta go shopping on the way home.’
‘So?’
‘I’ve got mud all over me now.’

Mette tried brushing the wet mud off her waterproofed trousers. It only made it worse.

‘You’re funny. We’ve just climbed a mountain, it’s pissing down with rain, how did you expect to look at the end of it?’ Kari –Anne said laughing. ‘Outdoorsy people, that’s what we are, and that’s what we look like. There. ’
‘Yeah, we are aren’t we,’ Mette said grinning.

She bent over, picked up some mud and flung it at Kari-Anne. It hit her right in the face. Kari-Anne was quick to retaliate. By the time they reached the main road they both looked a right state. They got a few funny looks in the supermarket. The woman behind them in the check-out queue even raised her neatly sculptured eye-brows at them.

Mette winked at Kari-Anne. ‘Coming down for a glass of wine later, darling?’ she asked. ‘I’ve got a nice bottle of ‘95 Chateauneuf-du-Pape in the cellar. It‘s just screaming out to be consumed.’
‘How lovely. Good year that,’ Kari-Anne said playing along. ‘I’d let it breath for at least an hour before we drink it though.’
The woman in the queue winced at them. They contained their laughter until they got outside.

When she got back home, Mette dumped her shopping in the kitchen and headed for the shower. She was blowing her hair dry when she remembered the wine. Down in the basement she pulled out two bottles of Chateauneuf-du-Pape.
’95 - bloody good year that was,’ she said to herself as she carefully decanted the wine into a crystal carafe.



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