We've got aliens living next to us.They moved in yesterday. What's the world coming to? I mean, why can't they stay on their own planet for goodness sake. Coming down here to Earth and taking over. We don't want them in our town, they're starting to get everywhere.

There's about ten of them, in one small house, and you can bet your boots they won't do a stroke of work, they'll be straight on the social come Monday morning, and the government lets them, gives them all the benefits they ask for. Who's paying for that ? We are, you and me ! Thats who.

Bright blue they are, with red eyes too. Speaking in a funny language. I mean this is England, they should be speaking our language for goodness sake.

They look like refugees from the Crab Nebula, trouble makers by all accounts. They better not start any of that radio-activity nonsense round here, we won't stand for it.

Last night they were cooking something, and oh the smell, we had to shut our windows in the end because it was so bad. They threw a load of crates and other stuff in their back garden, and when it got dark some of it was glowing a sort of green colour. The council should do something about that.

Thing is, you can't say anything about it. Get branded a racist for speaking out if you're not careful. But between you and me I don't like it.

They'll be sending their kids to our local school, my Eric says there are already two in his class and they get special treatment, extra lessons and things. He made me laugh, he said he can't tell if they are boys or girls. Well, they all look the same don't they.

I think the government should put a stop to it, there are far too many of them coming down to Earth these days. They actually have their own shops and things now. Even our local corner shop is run by aliens from Jupiter. I mean, they're a nice couple, very indigo in appearance, but nice and pleasant, and hard-working too. But enough is enough really.

Don't get me wrong, they're not all spongers. Some of them are quite well qualified, doctors and engineers and things, but they work for lower wages than our lot will. It's no wonder all our nurses and doctors and what have you are heading off to other galaxys where there's the promise of a new life with a brighter future.

That lot with the big multi-coloured heads, from Alpha Centauri I think, they hang around on the street corners in groups. Very imtimidating it is to people like me, and the police do nothing, don't move them on or anything. Little wonder folk stay in more these days than they used to.

It was on the news the other day, some of them got arrested for dealing plutonium. An organised gang from Jupiter or somewhere apparently. I mean, what's the world coming to? In fact, what's the universe coming to? I ask you.

And another thing, they're starting to get their feet under the table. That Crab Nebula lot are very political, give them their due they know their rights, know how to bend the system for their own benefit. Starting to get a foothold in local government they are, backed up by sympathisers who don't tolerate a word said against them.

I mean to say, if we went to their planet we would have to do what they do, but they come down here and want things changing to suit them. Not right at all that isn't. But what can we do? There'll be trouble over it one day. You mark my words.

Quite a lot of them are actually illegal aliens. They come from other galaxys as stowaways on transport rockets and what have you. None of them have got the correct paperwork and they get detained. But then they escape. Flooding into our planet they are. It's out of control. Frightening when you think about it.

I saw a young girl the other day, walking down the street arm-in-arm with a bright red martian, brazen as you like. Inter-racial they call it. I call it disgusting. Shouldn't be allowed. What a carry on.

If it continues like this it won't be long before the aliens take over and start telling us what to do. I don't sleep well at night these days, what with all the worry over it. A right state of inter-galactic affairs it is.

Anyway, enough of that. I've got to get off down the half-life market in town before it closes. Charlie asked me to get some fresh isotopes for dinner this evening.

It's Wednesday. We always have fresh isotopes, and a bit of strontium, on a Wednesday....