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  You are @ HomeAdults Poetry


Source: Adults

Author: Virginia Fox

Title: Suicidal

I’ve been considering suicide of late
Not good thoughts to contemplate
Half of me is trying to fight it
The other just says yes
Which one will win, is anybody’s guess.

My thought process seems logical
Although I know this isn’t true
I ponder how best to do it
And where to do it too
I wonder if what follows
Could be worse than life itself
I wonder if I’d feel differently
If I was more myself?
The lonely days are so painful
The dark nights are even worse
The lack of hope is agony
The helplessness a curse.
I know people think suicide is selfish
But my sense of self is smashed
Not many tears would be shed for me.
My life is all but trashed.
I’m thinking of a sleeping cocktail
All deep and blank and white
Unconscious sounds wonderful
If only I get it right.
Don’t tell me to turn to family or friends
Don’t you think that I have tried?
They’re busy living their own lives
As I’m watching from outside.
I’m not kidding myself that I’ll be missed
Except perhaps a bit by me.
I know I have a kind heart
But that won’t set me free.

I’ve been considering suicide of late
I haven’t as yet set a date.

Who knows what I will decide
Will my soul prevail if I should die?

Published on writebuzz®: Adults > Poetry

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