Hi, I’m Syd, a humble garden snail. I live in a little garden in the suburbs of a noisy, bustling city. When I’m not sleeping or eating I like to write in my diary, so if you think that you would enjoy reading about the tales of a humble snail, then please read on…

Thursday 9th June

Raining today – My home in the garden was flooded, so I thought that I would go and visit Auntie Nancy. I set off early because she lives down in the woods.

When I arrived she was halfway up a very tall tree. Auntie Nancy said that it had taken her two days to get this high and she wasn’t going to stop until she reached the very top. I shouted back that I would come again when she wasn’t so busy.

Did you know that we snails are thought to be one of the slowest creatures on the entire earth?

Wednesday 15th June

Sunny today – I am nocturnal by nature, so the best place to find me in the daytime is under anything shady and damp. At the moment I am living under a broken flowerpot.

I was rudely interrupted when my home was lifted up and two young children stared at me – well, I think they were children as my eyesight is not very good!

Did you know that we snails dislike hot, dry weather because it causes us to dry out? Without our slimy mucus we wouldn’t be able to travel anywhere!

Sunday 19th June

Raining again – I was very naughty and couldn’t resist the lettuce that was glistening in the vegetable patch – I ate it all! If the garden owner catches me, I’ll be in trouble!

The only problem is that lettuce gives me bad wind! Don’t let that put you off because eating vegetables is good for you – if you don’t believe me, just ask your parents!

Did you know that we snails eat plants, fruit, vegetables and algae but we don’t eat meat? When there is a shortage of food we eat dirt instead.

Tuesday 21st June

Sunny again – so I didn’t go into the garden until late evening. I had to be very wary in case any predators were nearby. In this garden it’s mainly hedgehogs and birds who would love to have me for a snack.

It’s because I am so slow that I am easy to catch. My shell offers good camouflage, but even though I can hide inside my shell, a hungry predator can soon get me out.

Did you know that we snails in general have lots of enemies? It really depends on where we live. Even domestic pets like cats and dogs enjoy eating or playing with us.

Thursday 23rd June

Raining again – Uncle Pete came to visit today. He told me that humans love to eat us. I didn’t realise that we snails are so tasty! Uncle Pete said that we are a delicacy, which means that we are very special!!

I am writing this with tears in my eyes – the thought of being cooked and having my shell stuffed with garlic butter is not nice.

Did you know that we snails are also eaten as ‘snail caviar’? They say that our tiny pearl-like eggs are a taste sensation.

Saturday 25th June

Raining again – I met my friend Thomas today. He is thinking about starting a family. He said that he is mature enough now to be a Dad, but the thought of having 80–100 babies in one hatching is a bit scary.

Thomas said that it’s going to be a very exciting part of his life, but choosing all their names is going to take some time.

Did you know that we snails are both male and female and can produce eggs and sperm? We cannot fertilize ourselves though, so we still need the help of another snail to do that.

Monday 27th June

Raining again – I was in serious trouble today!! The garden owner found me in the strawberry patch. HE WAS NOT HAPPY! He picked me up and flung me over the garden fence. I was very lucky and landed on a pile of grass cuttings.

Anyway, when I finally arrived back home I noticed trails of salt (deadly to snails) and crushed eggs EVERYWHERE. I have decided that it’s time to pack my bags and head off to pastures new.

Did you know that we snails are infamous because we are often found on lists of the most unwanted garden pests?

Thursday 30th June

Raining again – I have found a garden of paradise. The neighbours are quiet and the garden is huge. The owner doesn’t seem to do a lot of gardening, which is great for me.

I was invited to a garden party today – slugs and snails only, of course. I’m not sure when this will be as it depends on the weather, but I’m sure it will be great fun when it does happen.

Did you know that we snails make fantastic pets? We can get bored with our surroundings, so give us a home that is interesting to live in. We like plenty of places to hide.

Well that’s all for now. So what did you think? Are humble garden snails cute or repulsive?

Syd XX