“Dylan’s Fam-Zine: Issue Spring 2008” - Read Me Now
Well, hello there my dearies! This is Dylan’s first fam-zine (yes, of course it’s spelled correctly. It’s short for ‘familiars’ magazine’. I suppose it’s school holidays again, you can always tell - they leave their brains in bed), as dictated by Dylan himself. I always knew he was one bossy cat but now we’re seeing him in his true light. Anyway, he decided to call it the “Spring” issue because he hopes that the magic of those words will make Spring appear. My but she’s a bit dilatory this year, isn’t she!
Enough about Spring, especially since she hasn’t got her act together yet. Dylan and I are not so cheery today. I’ve had to transport Dylan on my best broomstick to Merlin’s and, although he’s the wiz who does the biz, Dylan was very upset not to get his breakfast prawns. Yes, ever since that Rosanna came to stay, he’s gone right off his toad spawn stew and dumplings.
Rosanna is so beautiful, and such a svelte and chic mademoiselle. Her mother was French, you know. Dylan is totally besotted and desperately trying to lose a whole kilo. He thinks that prawn cuisine will help although I don’t know why he’s so worried. Even with all the kilos he has (and he has nine of them) he’s the best familiar at riding pillion that I’ve ever known. Well, as all you bright young wizzes out there will know already, if you want to try acrobatics like “no-wheelies” on a broom, you need a bit of weight on the back of it.
[I always said that if they taught the Laws of Physics using examples applicable to young wizzes it would be so much easier to follow].
Anyway, enough of me and my soap-box (not that I’ve got one, or even that I’ve ever seen one) and more about Dylan. After all, it is his fam-zine. And we’re a bit full of grief today, you know. So, if you see Kelly, do break the news to her gently. I know she’ll be so upset because she was one of Dylan’s first fans.
Dylan went for his MOT. Merlin does fantastic deals for familiars and it doesn’t take too long (except when he falls asleep in the middle of the meditation session). But this time Merlin found something that shouldn’t be where it was and, despite our best spell-making on Monday, we couldn’t shift it.
You’ll remember that Merlin is the best sorcerer in London (and in the whole Universe, actually, although Cope might not be happy about that description. But that’s the difference between Cope and Merlin. Cope is much too idiosyncratic for healing sessions) so Dylan has gone for a kind of spa-day where he will experience the benefit of intense spell-making and deep sorcery. That’s why he couldn’t have the prawn breakfast, only the diet water. So boring. Though not as boring as lettuce leaves. I just don’t know why people eat them. Voluntarily, too!
You can always tell when Merlin’s spells are being cast by the state of the weather. We’ve just had some deep, growling thunder (not to mention the heavy splash of rain) so that’s a good sign. It means the sorcerer’s apprentices have at least managed to find all Merlin’s best spell books and arrange them correctly. We’re in with a good chance the spell-making session will be successful!
So, dear fans, the moon is in the right position and the magical stardust has been sprinkled. Copious amounts of prawns have been collected ready for Dylan’s “glad you’re so much better” breakfast. But you can help, too, you know. Please wish Dylan well and send him lots of good luck messages. Then the Universe will have to take notice and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well, as my friend Julian would have put it (Norwich has never been the same without her).
It’s up to you and your hard work now!
© Bella Fortuna®, 1 May 2008. All Rights Reserved.
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