The Episode on Tarbuck Road
I saw them chase you down the street
Fifteen female flying feet
five ran straight and two ran bent
and one had had an accident.
They hurled their gloves and bags and hats
and hollered out like night-time cats
I sat and watched you, quite astounded
knowing not why you were hounded.
What had you done to raise their hackles?
I`d not seen better rugby tackles
and then I guessed it was a hobby
As they all shouted “Lets get Robby”.
They ripped your clothes off, made you yelp
but no one offered any help
so then I went to my front door
and hauled you in from off the floor.
At this time I blushed, quite red
and so, to ease my mind, you said
“Don`t worry queen, not in the least,
I`ll do no harm `cos I’m a priest”...
I sponged your face and brushed your hair
and found you some more clothes to wear.
I must admit you looked quite pert
when you put on my miniskirt
and after that, well even better
when you adorned my low-cut sweater.
Later on you forth did `sally`
to your house, through our back alley,
everyone was so impressed
to see how chicly you were dressed,
The thing that caused your hair to bristle
was hearing all the fellers whistle.
You faded off into the blue
that was the last I saw of you
and now my life is dull and bare
I havn`t got a stitch to wear.
If ever you are round one day
don’t hesitate to call my way
and I’d be grateful Robby dear
if you would, please, return my gear!
P.S. I`m not so dense from ear to ear
as it would seemingly appear
but if it’s true you are `monastic`
then I’ll confess” Boy, you’re fantastic!”
Fiction, send up for a Liverpool Lothario/God’s gift -years ago
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