Dear Sir

Despite many complaints about dogs fouling in public places, I have noticed that most owners carry with them the wherewithal to clean up after their pets. In general, it is the dogs who are allowed to stray which cause most of the problems. There is a nomadic German Shepherd dog who lives round the corner from us. It generally leaves large messages outside the school gates and this, I am sure, is very healthy for the local children.

But what about irresponsible cat owners? What about the damage these moggies do to other peoples` gardens? Are their owners blissfully unaware that cats, too, can be trained to use `cat lit` trays`? Or are they NIMBY`s? NOT IN MY BACK YARD!

A family who live nearby own two cats. One of these cats is busy scratching its way through my neighbour`s spring flower bulbs while the other is concentrating on our front flower beds.

I don`t know what the statistics are in respect of my neighbour`s (the other victim`s) garden but we receive a minimum of two visits a day. Were we not meticulous in cleaning and brushing up every morning and night, each year would yield a minimum in excess of 700 deposits (taking into consideration holiday/cattery arramgements). Five years, should the offending animal live that long, would render us knee deep in excrement of an extremely offensive nature. We could, in effect, become isolated since we would have no visitors, our neighbours would shun us, there would be no newspapers, mail or milk, no deliveries – except for the two left by the cat each day… In fact, Splendid Isolation!

One of my relations recommends returning the `messages` to their rightful owners. He adopts this method on a regular basis. Many other well-meaning friends have advised on a variety of procedures for use as deterrents none of which has worked. I have assembled all these ideas into verse though I am averse to passing it on to our cat owning neighbours as I wish to continue a peaceful existence, preferably cat free.

Y/f